Tag: trust

Take Courage

I’m not one to make new years resolutions. A lot of people do and never follow through. And I’ve never been one to choose a word for the year as some of my friends have, although I have enjoyed reading their posts about the words they have chosen.  On a whim I took Dayspring’s find your word for 2019 quiz. (You can take the quiz here)  .

It gave me the word Courage.

At first I didn’t think anything of it but that word kept coming up. I read Isaiah 41 yesterday and that word echoed off the pages.

Isaiah 41:6 New King James Version (NKJV)

Everyone helped his neighbor,
And said to his brother,
“Be of good courage!”

Be of good courage. Eighteen times God tells us to be strong and of good courage. Just get on biblegateway.com and type in courage and read for yourself.

Good Courage. According to dictionary.com Courage is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc.., without fear; bravery.

Be strong and without fear. Be strong and brave.

Whatever road you are on in 2018 and whatever road you go down in 2019, be strong and of good courage because:

Isaiah 41:13 New King James Version (NKJV)

For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand,
Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’

So in 2019 I fight for courage. I fight to lay down fear and pick up the pen.

And while you are of good courage, be an encouragement to those around you. En:  to cause to be. Courage: brave. Encouragement is to cause to be brave.

I am thankful for all of my encouragers. I’ve needed it more than you will ever know. And a special thank you to the friend whose simple “gotta start somewhere” gave me the courage I needed. You have no idea the power those simple words held.

Come Closer

James 4:8 “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”

I’ve been wrestling with these words. Grasping for meaning. Searching for the other piece of the puzzle. Today it’s placed in my hands. It all makes sense now. Why I wasn’t getting very far.

Matthew 15:8 “These people draw near to Me with their mouth and honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me.”

It all makes sense now. I’ve been one of ‘those’ people. I’ve held out one hand saying pour in while I’ve clutched my heart shut with the other. Not in fear of it but in fear of what it may require. My heart must follow after my words.

I’ve got one foot in the laver trying to get ‘clean’ enough, good enough, worthy enough while the other foot slowly inches toward the brazen alter, the consuming fire. And yet the distance is too far, I have to step out of the laver. I have to stop looking back. It’s all or nothing, one or the other, I can’t stand in two places.

I must be poured in before I can pour out. And He’s standing there ready to pour, waiting for me to take that next step.

Acts 2:18 “On my handmaidens, I will pour out of My Spirit!”

 

 

Un-guard My Heart

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I pick up my copy of The Broken Way by Ann Voskamp. My highlighter bleeds on nearly every page. One line echoes off the page and seeps into my soul. And the tears spill. And my heart is rent in two as I remember. Because I

“was the friend who has slapped up cold, guarded walls to protect her heart at the cost of anyone else’s heart, the woman who’s been more interested in self-preservation than anyone else’s situation.”

I remember the moment that wall went up. I was walking down the hallway towards the students that would be my new classmates.  I was terrified. I tried to hide behind my notebook.  A voice without reason whispered they’re going to hurt you to. I didn’t want someone’s words to hurt me again. So my 10 year-old self picked up the bricks that had already been hurled at her in the form of words. Bricks stacked one on top of the other held together by a mortar made of lies formed a wall to protect the shattered remains of her heart.

It was 13 years later that I realized what I had done. That the wall didn’t protect my heart. In building that wall I not only hurt myself but I hurt other people. It literally took a woman kneeling on the floor in front of me, begging me to just say hello to her (you know who you are), for me to realize it. It’s true, hurt people hurt people. And I hurt so many people without realizing it until that day.

That day began the process of trying to find a way past the wall. The prison cell  with no doors. A self-made prison is the worst kind and the hardest to escape from.  It took Jesus to break that wall down, He’s the only One that could, the only One that held the right key.

Some days it’s hard not to rebuild the wall. It’s a daily struggle to live vulnerable. A struggle to keep my heart guarded enough that the lies don’t get back in but un-guarded enough that the love does. It’s a struggle to find the balance between guarded to much and not guarded enough.

Psalms 91

 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

Well Laid Plans

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January 9th, 2013. Four years ago. The Facebook memory app just reminded me what happened that day. It’s not exactly a day I care to remember but it was a pivotal point in my life. An event that would cause me to re-evaluate my life and the choices I had made.

It was the hardest lesson that I ever had to learn. And I willingly chose to learn it the hard way. And four years later, I’m still paying the consequences.

In August 2012, I had applied for and got hired for a job in Florida. A job that would require me to move across multiple state lines. My reasons for applying for the job were for all the wrong reasons. I wasn’t supposed to go, but in my stubbornness, I ignored all the make a U-turn now signs and breezed past the stop signs. I went anyway.

The job didn’t make me as happy as I thought it would. I was downright miserable and I knew I wasn’t supposed to be there. But still I stayed.

On January 9th four years ago, I was in an automobile accident on the way to work. My wrist was in the surgeon’s words, shattered. Surgery was required. Surgery led to 3 months with a steel rod screwed into the outside of my arm. I was handicapped and unable to work, unable to write. Unable to wash and brush my own hair. This wasn’t part of my plan.

My well laid plans fell apart. I learned the hard way to be obedient and to always “acknowledge Him in all my ways” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

In my devotions today I was reminded again of how important it is to include Him in my plans and to allow Him to have the final say. His will not mine.

Proverbs 19:20-21

” Hear counsel and receive instruction, that thou may be wise in thy latter end. There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand.”

2 Peter 1:10

“So then, brothers (and sisters), give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if you do these things, you shall never fall.”

“Walk with Me in  holy trust, responding to My initiatives rather than trying to make things fit your plans. I died to set you free, and that includes freedom from compulsive planning. When your mind spins with a multitude of thoughts, you cannot hear My voice. A mind preoccupied with planning pays homage to the idol of control. Turn from this idolatry back to Me. Listen to Me and live abundantly!” – Sarah Young- Jesus Calling”

 

” In no way is it enough to set out cheerfully with God on any venture of faith. You must also be willing to take your ideas of what the journey will be like and tear them into tiny pieces, for nothing on the itinerary will happen as you expect. Your Guide will not keep to any beaten path. He will lead you through ways you would never have dreamed your eyes would see. He knows no fear, and He expects you to fear nothing while He is with you.”- Streams in the Desert”

 

 

 

 

 

Blind Faith

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” For we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7

When we walk by faith, we walk blindly. Walking by faith takes trust. Trusting that the One guiding us will not lead us astray; that He will keep us safe.

When we walk by our own perceptions; we see what lies ahead. We see the hard and the change and the storm and the obstacles. We see the danger and the squalor and the pain and the suffering. We see what we don’t want to see. And fear takes hold. And so we look for the way out or the way around and oftentimes we find it.

Because we take the short-cut around; we miss out. We miss the mark. We lose the blessings that were rightfully ours. We learn our lessons the hard way. And while we’re still wallowing in our fear and self doubt; He sends the obedient ones to do the job He had for us. Because souls are at stake here. Hearts are hanging in the balance, some by a thread. And they needed us in that moment; and we failed them.

When we walk by faith, we don’t know what’s coming. We don’t know what He has in store for us. We just have to trust that wherever He leads us, is for our good. That the road He has us on is the right one, no matter how many hills and valleys. No matter the flying leaps of faith we must take. We have to trust that no matter what; He is right there by our side, guiding us and walking the road with us; and trust that if our foot slips, He will be there to catch us.

So this year, with blind faith, I write unhindered by fear and doubt. This year, I let the guardrails down and I allow my heart to spill out onto the pages. Because souls are at stake here; and I don’t want to fail them.

 

Stones of Remembrance

Joshua Chapter 4:Long Story Short

Joshua was instructed by the Lord to tell the priests to take up the Ark of the Covenant and walk out into the flowing waters of the overflown Jordan river. Then the waters dried up and the Israelites crossed the Jordan on dry land. Joshua was instructed to have one man from each of the twelve tribes to “take for yourselves twelve stones from here, out of the midst of the Jordan, from the place where the priests’ feet stood firm. You shall carry them over with you and leave them in the lodging place where you lodge tonight.(Joshua 4:3)” They were told to take the stones with them so that they won’t forget what God did for them! They were told that their children would ask them what the stones meant to them and they were to tell them that God dried up the river so that they could cross safely on dry land. Then Joshua set up twelve stones where the priests had stood. “The priests who bore the ark of the covenant stood in the midst of the Jordan until everything was finished.(Joshua 4:10)” Once everyone had crossed over then the priests carrying the ark of the covenant crossed the rest of the way. As soon as the priest stepped onto dry land the waters flowed back into the overflowed banks.

I encourage you to read Joshua chapter 4 in it’s entirety.

The ark of the covenant contained the presence of God. Notice the location of the ark through the whole event. God went before them, God stayed in the midst of them, and God followed behind them! Just as He did for them He does for us. That was a monumental event! So monumental that  He told them to take a stone of remembrance with them.

We have events like that in our own lives. Our stones of remembrance come in other forms though. It may be a photograph or video taken at the event. It may be a scar left behind by the event. It may be something you wrote in a journal about the event. It may be a miraculous healing. It may be something that was provided when it was needed.  Whatever the form our stone of remembrance takes, someone at some point will ask about it. And we can be prepared with our answer ” God was with me”.

I encourage you to write down your “God was with me” moments so that you have them to remember what God did for you.

In My Father’s Arms

I will never forget that day I climbed into my father’s lap and asked him why we were not packing his things in boxes. I was five  years old and didn’t fully understand what was going on. But I was observant. I knew enough to know that we weren’t packing his things. I looked him square in the eyes as he gave me a half-truth. The army wouldn’t let him go yet. He still had another year of service left at Fort Leavenworth. I will never forget looking into his eyes that day and seeing the heartbreak pooled there. It would be years later that my mother would reveal the full truth to me. She had every intention of filing for divorce that year. I am so thankful she didn’t. He may have been gone for that one year but by the grace of God, he won my mother’s heart back and is still here with us today.

I don’t know if it was because of that ‘lost’ year or those few scary times when we thought we might lose him to one health problem or another; but to this day my favorite place to be is in my father’s arms.

There is truly nothing like the sound of my father’s heartbeat.

The sound of his heartbeat takes away all the fear and melts away the stress. There, I am safe and secure. I’m a daddy’s girl through and through.

As much as my earthly father loves me, there will be and are days when he will fail me. I will be let down. Promises will be broken. His arms will fail me. He won’t always be there to catch me when I fall. I won’t always have the sound of his heartbeat.

But there is One whose arms are everlasting.

Deuteronomy 33:26-27New King James Version (NKJV)

26 “There is no one like the God of Jeshurun (the upright one),
Who rides the heavens to help you,
And in His excellency on the clouds.
27 The eternal God is your refuge,
And underneath are the everlasting arms;
He will thrust out the enemy from before you,
And will say, ‘Destroy!’

My heavenly Father desires me to depend on His everlasting arms more than I desire my earthly fathers arms.

Everything I need can only be found in my heavenly Father’s everlasting arms.

Psalm 16

Preserve me, O God, for in You I put my trust.

2 O my soul, you have said to the Lord,
“You are my Lord,
My goodness is nothing apart from You.”
3 As for the saints who are on the earth,
“They are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.”

4 Their sorrows shall be multiplied who hasten after another god;
Their drink offerings of blood I will not offer,
Nor take up their names on my lips.

5 O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You maintain my lot.
6 The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Yes, I have a good inheritance.

7 I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel;
My heart also instructs me in the night seasons.
8 I have set the Lord always before me;
Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.

9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will rest in hope.
10 For You will not leave my soul in Sheol,
Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption.
11 You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

 

 

No More Permissive Will

Proverbs 19:21  ” There are many plans in a man’s heart,
Nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand.”

How true this is! And oh the countless times I’ve chosen to learn this the hard way! God has a special plan for all of His children! If only we would choose to be obedient, if only we would choose to listen to His voice alone.

He does allow us His permissive will, but He desires us to be in His perfect will.

I started this blog six years ago. Then I was all about missions and going back to Africa. Though I am still very passionate about missions and still love Africa, God is moving me in a new direction. You will notice that those older posts have disappeared and the name of this site was changed four months ago from Mali Love to Write With Purpose. I do still love Mali, but I want my words to speak life. I want my words to have purpose. I want my words to lead you to Jesus.

God’s plan for me far outweighs anything I could ever plan on my own. My plans have slipped through my fingers like sand in an hour glass. But God’s plan/ God’s counsel will stand the test of time.

The Dwelling Place

Today in a moment of calm at church, I’m lead to what has become my go-to scripture. Psalm 37:4 ” Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Delight in Him, be joyful in Him, love Him, set your affections in Him. But then I see that word ‘also’. This implies that there’s more to the story, there’s more to this equation. It’s not just delight in Him but ‘also’.  My eyes go to the verse before. The verse that’s been sitting on my desk for the past week. I finally make the connection, this verse before is the ‘also’ in this equation.

Psalm 37:3 ” Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.” Trust in the Lord and do good. That’s pretty straightforward, no explanation needed. But then we have dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Faithfulness speaks of promises kept, trustworthy, words spoken true, never failing. Feed on His promises! Feed on His Word!

We’re left with dwell in the land. What land are we supposed to dwell in? Dwell in the land of promise!

Trust in the Lord and do good, trust that God is who He says He is and let your actions represent that trust. Dwell in the land of promise and feed on His faithfulness. Delight also in Him, and then after you’ve done all that He will grant you the desires of your heart.

 

Surrender the Dream

” True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to Me with an open mind and heart, inviting Me to plant My desires within you. I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach. You know that in yourself you cannot achieve such a goal. Thus begins your journey of profound reliance on Me. It is a faith-walk, taken one step at a time, leaning on Me as much as you need. This is not a path of continual success but of multiple failures. However, each failure is followed by a growth spurt, nourished by increased reliance on Me.” – Sarah Young – Jesus Calling.

This hits close to home. Too close. I have learned to do this and am still learning to do this daily. It is hard, so hard. But the reward far outweighs the hard of it. The pain of it, the heartbreak of it.

” The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The Lord is nigh unto the broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.” Psalms 34:17-19

I surrender the will; surrender the dream. I lay all my plans, desires, dreams at the savior’s feet. And I say Your perfect will not mine.  And He takes them and places in my hands, my heart His dream for me, His plans for me, His desires for me.

“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” Psalms 37:4-5

I submit to His will. I learn to delight in my savior. I learn to fall in love with my savior. He is near to my brokenness. I surrender the fragments of my imperfections, the fragments of heartbreak. He takes them and fills the void and lavishes His love on me. And He gives me the desires of my heart. A piece of blue sky on a rainy day as a token of His affection. I take His hand and trust His steps, He guides my feet. And the courtship with my Savior begins.