Sarah Jean

Beauty in the Brokeness

FontCandy (14) An image comes to mind of a stained glass mosaic. The glass must be broken to be made beautiful. And so it is with us. We are broken into beauty.

He breaks our spirit. He breaks our chains. Our hearts break. But we are broken into beauty. And He is with us in the breaking, and the beauty that is created by His hands is a reflection of Himself.

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” Psalms 51:17

“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Psalms 34:18

“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” Psalms 147:3

“The spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound.” Isaiah 61:1

In the breaking of our chains; we are set free from our past, from insecurities, from lies, from self made prisons, from sin, from fear. There is beauty in being set free.

When our hearts break, He picks up the pieces and puts them back together. He makes us whole and turns our broken into beauty.

But we must surrender the fragments, the pieces we hold onto. He wants those too. He wants all of us so that we may become all of Him.

Surrender the Dream

” True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to Me with an open mind and heart, inviting Me to plant My desires within you. I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach. You know that in yourself you cannot achieve such a goal. Thus begins your journey of profound reliance on Me. It is a faith-walk, taken one step at a time, leaning on Me as much as you need. This is not a path of continual success but of multiple failures. However, each failure is followed by a growth spurt, nourished by increased reliance on Me.” – Sarah Young – Jesus Calling.

This hits close to home. Too close. I have learned to do this and am still learning to do this daily. It is hard, so hard. But the reward far outweighs the hard of it. The pain of it, the heartbreak of it.

” The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The Lord is nigh unto the broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.” Psalms 34:17-19

I surrender the will; surrender the dream. I lay all my plans, desires, dreams at the savior’s feet. And I say Your perfect will not mine. And He takes them and places in my hands, my heart His dream for me, His plans for me, His desires for me.

“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” Psalms 37:4-5

I submit to His will. I learn to delight in my savior. I learn to fall in love with my savior. He is near to my brokenness. I surrender the fragments of my imperfections, the fragments of heartbreak. He takes them and fills the void and lavishes His love on me. And He gives me the desires of my heart. A piece of blue sky on a rainy day as a token of His affection. I take His hand and trust His steps, He guides my feet. And the courtship with my Savior begins.

The Precipice

Today I walk long. I walk to think. I walk to sing. I walk to pray. 
I walk  to find inspiration. And I find it. And it speaks to me. And God
 speaks to  me. And I listen. My walk takes me to a park and a swing.
 So I sit and I    swing and I listen. I let myself be wrapped in Sunday 
afternoon light. And I let the wind blow all my cares away. And I open my 
eyes to see. To see what He's speaking to me.
 And He shows me a squirrel on the highest branch on the tip of a twig that
 could snap any moment. A squirrel that holds on for life. A squirrel afraid. 
But then he gets brave and he backs up little by little until he's safe and
 he's back in his nest.
And He says to me you've been that squirrel. That squirrel so afraid. And  
 then He says to me I brought you to that precipice you're standing on. And 
I will keep bringing you back to it because that's where I want you. Because
 I don't want you to be afraid. I don't want you to turn back to safety. I 
  want you to trust Me. To trust Me, to trust that I know what I'm doing. To 
 trust that as you take that flying leap of faith, I will catch you. I will 
 carry you. I will carry you to the place where I am. I will set you free.
 I will set your feet on solid ground, on holy ground. So I listen. I let it 
  sink in. I stand at the precipice with my toes curled over the edge. And I 
 jump. I jump afraid.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on thine own understanding, acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

The Morning Light

The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.

Today I rose before the sun. I don’t do that often. I try to avoid it. I like my sleep. But today I enjoyed it. It made my day better.

The first thing I saw when I opened the front door was the morning and the evening star aligned one on top of the other. I’d never seen that before. It was beautiful. And then I sat at the table by the window at McDonald’s and watched the sun rise and watched the world around me come to life. It was worth it. If you’ve never watched the sun rise; do it. Make time for it.

Brush away the cobwebs of sleep. With hot cup of coffee in hand, watch the sun rise. Just sit there at your favorite vantage point and watch the night fade into glorious day. Watch the color spill over the horizon as it chases the darkness away. Listen to the orchestra of crickets, frogs, and hoot owls fade into a crescendo of bird song. Watch the birds flit about searching for the worm caught unawares. Watch the deadness of night turn into the hustle and bustle of the morning commute. Watch the world come to life. And then remind yourself who the Morning Star is, and thank Him for a new day with air-filled lungs and put on the armour of light. His mercies are new every morning.

Lamentations 3:22-24 KJV

It is of the Lord‘s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.

Romans 13:12 KJV

The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.

Revelation 22:16

“I…am the Bright and Morning Star.”

Erase the Line

“I want my thoughts to move into actions that speak life.”

I have been listening to this song a lot lately. A lot. On repeat.

It’s one of those songs that really hits you right between the eyes and gives you a solid kick in the pants at the same time.

Broken Bread

“May I be broken bread, may I be poured out wine
May I incarnate, Your kindness Lord”

In saying this what we’re really saying is I want to sacrifice my will for His will. All of me for all of Him. And then letting it show for others to see.

“Spend my life Jesus, anyway You please
Whether on great things, or what seems small”

With this line, we’re saying Your perfect will in my life. No matter what it is. A complete and total surrender of our desire to have our own way. Giving up our stubbornness and selfishness. Breaking away the shackles of fear. Getting out of the boat and blindly stepping onto the water. Fully trusting that God’s got this.

“Your will done your way
Your will done your way
Your will done your way”

It couldn’t be said anymore plainer than that. His will done His way. We’d be foolish to stand in His way. We’re disobedient when we stand in His way. We miss out on blessings when we stand in His way.

I will not fight You
Take me past the line that my heart draws
I will not fight You
Take me beyond the laziness of my thoughts
I will not fight
Lead me further than I’ve gone before
I will not fight You
I’m abandoned to Your call

This is my prayer for myself. ‘Take me past the line that my heart draws’. I want to give Him every room in my heart. I want to be full of His Spirit. ‘Take me beyond the laziness of my thoughts’. I want my thought life to be on His word. On what He’s done for me. What He’s brought me through. I want my thoughts to move into actions that speak life. ‘Lead me further than I’ve gone before’. I want to go deeper. I want to go past the outer courts into the holy place. I want to drown in the Living Water. ‘I’m abandoned to Your call.’ I want His perfect will in my life. I want to live in a way that people know that I’m His.

“Do not let there be, any part of me
That’s untouchable, unreachable”

I don’t want anything to stand between me and my Lord. I want Him to have every part of my heart. I want to hear His voice. I want to be obedient. No barriers, no chains. I want to be completely free.

“Let my delight be, living out Your dreams
Washing dirty feet, and kissing yours.
God let Your dreams come true, dream through us
God let Your dreams come true through us ”

Humble me. Washing someone’s feet let alone kissing them, takes a great deal of humbleness. Feet are dirty, feet stink! No one wants to do that! But sometimes we have to go into the hard places, the dirty places. It’s there where you’ll find the people that haven’t learned to cry out to God as we Christians have. It’s there where you’ll find the people that need Him the most.

His dreams for us! What a concept! He has a dream, a purpose for each of us. His dream far outweighs anything I could ever dream of.

What’s in a Name

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about something a friend of mine once said. “Everyone’s name has a special meaning, and when you call them by their name, you speak that meaning over them.”

Thinking about what she said led me to research what my names mean. I have always known what my first name meant but I never knew what my middle name meant. I had to find out. Sarah means princess, also known as daughter of the King. Jean is the English equivalent of the Scottish name, Jane. Jean means the Lord is gracious.

I started thinking about everything those meanings entail. I had to ask myself, do I live up to those meanings?

Daughter of the King. The Lord is gracious.

My name is a constant reminder of who I am in Christ. I am a daughter of the King. He is my heavenly Father. I had to ask myself this question. Does my life show that I am a daughter of the King? Do people know it by my actions, my words? Not always. Words like disobedience, forgiveness, and just plain stubbornness come to mind.

But then I have my middle name. The Lord is gracious. A reminder that when I fail to live up to being a daughter of the King, my Lord is gracious. Oh the countless times I have needed his grace. It’s a reminder that I can call on the Name above all names. I can call on Jesus and He is gracious.

So now you know. When you call me Sarah Jean, what you’re really saying is Daughter of the King, the Lord is gracious.

Do you know what your names mean? Are you living up to their meanings?